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[awnday]

Okay so for years and years and year's I've had a the biggest crush on my best friend Ryan, a few nights ago i realized how totally and completely in love with my ex boyfriend Phenix i am. and that i really don't love Ryan, i love him more like a brother. And i've heard from a few good sources what Phenix wants me back. and i'm willing to wait for that.

But my friend Kat just broke up with her boyfriend Eddie and she is trying to get me to go out with him and i never thought of him that way and i thought that he was way younger then he really is so at first i just thought of him as a kid but now that i know his real age i can't get him out of my head imagining what it would be like, and is really making me question whether or not i truly love Phenix. Eddie a super great guy and we get a long great. He even called me after they broke up because he knew i would listen to him and just let him cry, so now i've kind of become his confidant. Which is kind of pissing Kat off because she feels like i'm picking him over her(yes she wants me to go out with him, don't ask me about her logic) and i spent pretty much all day yesterday with him and he called me beautiful (several times even though i was COVERED in paint) and was kind of flirting with me the whole day... but i really don't know what he's thinking, i still know he's way hurt about Kat breaking up with him

and to top it all off i have some how made Ryan unconformable around me. this is all so frustrating for me. him, Eddie and a couple other friends helped me paint my room yesterday and all day he was kind of in a bad mood, and when i asked him about what was going on he wouldn't tell me (and he ALWAYS tells me) and when i invited him back over today to see my room finished (because he had to leave before it was done) he declined in a bit of an awkward way.

oh and if i start to date either Phenix or Eddie i have to get used to money being spent on me (which i am totally uncomfortable with.) because Phenix is a million-air and has no idea what the word 'moderation' means and Eddie's friend left him a ton of money when he died that he's not aloud to spend on him self only friends (like $100,000 i think is what he said)

i would like to just give up on boys and i have been pretty successful of it for the last like three years but this is kind of getting out of hand. i have to try and deal with three guys at once with out hurting them... but i hope some of the things just erase themselves.

[awnday]

BTW: i really like this rant thing i kind of feel better

[peppiegal]

Well, I could give you some advice. It sounds like you really could use some. (I actually give really good relationship advice even though I have never been in one)

It sounds like you had a choice between 3 great guys, but elimainated one. You dated Ryan for a while and found out he wasn't exactly what you wanted, and now you really miss your ex. I think that is actually a good thing--that you miss him. It means you really love him. But as for Eddie, it sounds like you are good friends with him. Think about it, you don't like how things are with Ryan now that his is all awkward around you. Do you want Eddie to do the same thing if you do date and he isn't what you want? Try to think of the reason you broke up with Phenix. Do you think you broke up for a stupid reason? Do you really miss him? How often do you think of him in comparison to the other boys? I think asking youself these questions will really help.

Sorry you have to choose.

[awnday]

I never dated Ryan, I've only ever loved Ryan but I never told him, I don't know why he is being uncomfortable. And now that I have thought about Eddie in the way that of him being a boyfriend I can't get him out of my head, plus I have just helped him through some of the hardest times of his life (like seriously an hour ago), and I...I just don't know. And then Phenix...well he lives far far away and our relationship would be mostly through internet chating... so yeah

[Kat]

(Im the chick Kat...the one who dated Eddie) Sam...No Giving up on guys...you can like anyone you want to. Phenix is just going through a rough time. And I don't think Kc is really mad at you for what you said about guys in general. David well, hasn't been brought into this yet so...we don't have to talk about him.

I'm glad that your over Ryan but I am wondering why he was acting weird at the painting your room party. I hope you can get it out of him because him and secrets equals a not so happy lunch table. And you and Ryan make the lunch table laugh even though Half the TIME you leave me with the weirdo's. And yes I know RYAN just had to pull you and your chair to the other table Oh well....

Back onto topic.

You can date Eddie if you want to be my guest. We were just friends and you two do seem to kinda be hitting it off.

I think it would be nice for him...I know I wasn't much of a girfliend for him but I truefully just wanted to be friends.

Sam all I want is for you to be happy.

Do whatevar will make you happy..

With loverly love love.

-ME!

[awnday]

*tear comes to eye* thanks Kat, I want to be happy but I don't think guy are going to make my happy right now I need to work on myself first. Then I can deal with a relationship. If one of those guy's brings it up I will handle it but I wont be the one bringing it up.

[Kat]

Well I just hope that everything works out in the end...
NO

Wait

EVERYTHING
Will
Turn
OUt!

Its A FACT!

[peppiegal]

That sounds good. Work with yourself first, wait to see who you really want.